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THE OLD RULE OF THUMB

There was a time when the criterion for enrolling children into school was for the hand to go across their head to touch their ear. It was deemed practical and the proper judgement for establishing a child old enough to get an education.  Many of our parents experienced this because there was no documentation regarding age/birth certificates, so the logic was to ascertain a child's age by specific abilities. Take, for instance, Diana in 1985. The education standard for getting into school was from the age of 5. Diana's mother had painted beautiful pictures of a school's appearance and said that only sensible people were considered worthy of being a part of it. All Diana wanted to do was put on the new socks and shoes her mother had purchased. Diana dreamt of reciting the greeting the night before, 'Good morning, teacher; we are happy to see you; God bless you.' And so, Diana was taken to school that morning for enrolment. 'Fine girl, raise your right hand over y...
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Reputably Drenched!


It was going to be a
rainy day in June. Chioma's interview had been slated for 9am as stated in the text message she had received the previous day. She had applied for the position of a Customer Service Officer online, in a Reputable Globally Known Company. With raised hopes, official killer outfit, rehearsed poise, and the Lord's Prayer keeping her almost calm throughout the bumpy drive, Chioma headed for the interview. After following the directions given to her, she still couldn't locate the company; she refused to, even though it stared her in the face like an angry mob. It was a kiosk-like room opposite the street's waste centre. After much consideration, she decided to go in. She was there already and had nothing else to lose but time.
"Good morning. May I ask if this is T&G Solutions?"
She was dead deep inside now when the scrawny looking receptionist answered "yes" to her question, and was led into a dingy space demarcated from the reception area by a slim curtain.
"Welcome to T&G Solutions. Please sit. May I see your CV...? Ok, impressive but are you sure you can do this job? Your duty is to assist me in the selling of our product..."

Chioma had ended the interview with the expression "God forbid!" She watched it on the comedy TV series The Johnsons but she was never going to be a T&G Bitters seller. She was more bitter now than the product itself. "They just had to lie! With such a ghen ghen website filled with big big grammar, all na wayo." She replaced her previous prayers with curses as she left the room; thunder from the gym, Sango's fire and God's punishment on T&G Solutions, whatever that meant. Chioma could not take the last bus to her street for no conductor was sympathetic enough to accept her hideous hundred naira note. She walked home in a drenched state, accepting that it really never rained but poured.

A SHARED EXPERIENCE  

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