Skip to main content

Posts

Showing posts from August, 2018

THE OLD RULE OF THUMB

There was a time when the criterion for enrolling children into school was for the hand to go across their head to touch their ear. It was deemed practical and the proper judgement for establishing a child old enough to get an education.  Many of our parents experienced this because there was no documentation regarding age/birth certificates, so the logic was to ascertain a child's age by specific abilities. Take, for instance, Diana in 1985. The education standard for getting into school was from the age of 5. Diana's mother had painted beautiful pictures of a school's appearance and said that only sensible people were considered worthy of being a part of it. All Diana wanted to do was put on the new socks and shoes her mother had purchased. Diana dreamt of reciting the greeting the night before, 'Good morning, teacher; we are happy to see you; God bless you.' And so, Diana was taken to school that morning for enrolment. 'Fine girl, raise your right hand over y...
2 comments
Read more

PREJUDICED HUMAN CHARACTERISTICS

PREJUDICED HUMAN CHARACTERISTICS We always have sweet names for repulsive human behaviours all in the façade of easy identification. Tribalism, racism, chauvinism, feminism, sexism, totalitarianism, subjectivism, egocentrism, and all other "isms" that have turned the world up-side-down. These prejudices are everywhere you go even deep inside our spirits, souls and bodies. It is so difficult for one to just live freely as created by God that compromise becomes the only moving train which could take you to your destination and sometimes it ends up being your final destination. Have you ever been told that you are too fat to be a front desk agent but would fit as a writer who’d work from home instead? Have you been asked to send a picture of your “real face” while applying for a Personal Assistant job? Have you been told that you’re too skinny to be a sales agent but should opt for modeling instead or too dark and short to be an usher or too plain to be the face of...
2 comments
Read more

OWO NI KOKO (MONEY IS THE MAIN THING)

OWO NI KOKO (MONEY IS THE MAIN THING) One of my young customers walked into my small shop some time ago to collect his sewn wears and mistakenly stepped on another customer waiting to be measured by me. At first I just stood there watching the show: “Do you know who I am? I’m sure you never saw the four walls of a university that is why you cannot even say sorry after stepping on me with those cheap shoes of yours” “For your information I am a graduate, a lawyer for that matter, with a second class upper if your grandmother does not know of it. Maybe you are the one who needs to go back to school to learn some manners for you lack one obviously.” I did not know who the more frustrated customer was. Were manners now acquired from going to the university? These two men could not even pay the initial fee I charged them and there they were insulting one another; a show of educational power. And as we say today “who education epp?” I was not ready to even settle them both;...
5 comments
Read more

CHANGING THE UNREALISTIC NARRATIVE OF THE NIGERIAN EDUCATION

CHANGING THE UNREALISTIC NARRATIVE OF THE NIGERIAN EDUCATION “Your education is your meal ticket in life.” Those were the words of my father and like every other child present in the socioeconomic jungle called Nigeria; we believe that education will solve our life problems. My over two-decades-and-a-half-life journey as a Nigerian, in Nigeria clearly shows that this view is totally unrealistic to the contemporary average Nigerian Youth’s reality.   After all, I have gone through the errors of reciting multiplication tables, to never understanding the reason why I have to take 16   subjects in Secondary school and settling for what my country; through Jamb, feels is best for me to study (I was lucky I loved English). Not to disrepute our educational system, but I must say that what is taught in our schools is totally different from the reality we meet outside. We were never trained to think like problem solvers, there was more reputation placed on grades rathe...
Post a Comment
Read more

Popular posts from this blog

MAKEOVER

  When she realized her hair was gone, the barber had increased the volume of his radio and India Arie’s ‘I am not my hair’ filled the room. ‘If I can manage the situation like a professional, my construction contract with her father will hold tomorrow,’ I thought. I breathe in and out, a logic that never works for me, but I do it anyway. I rehearse my words, changing each sound to a softer version of the previous one - aligning my looks to the words so that my eyes become half closed and there is a faint smile on my face. I wait for the explosion. All the while, the barber is busy touching what is left on her head with his clipper. He says it is the final addition and calls it the moon look. He fumbles with the chair, turning Stella from left to right like a child’s play. The large mirror in front of us escalates the mishap and the fumes on my girlfriend’s face seem to be burning the white walls. It was meant to be a makeover since her 25 th birthday was the next day. Now it...
7 comments
Read more

WHEN IT RAINS IT POURS

In those days, when it rained we would stay by the window and watch how the trees danced to the beats of the wind, the singing of raindrops and thunder. The lighter the music, the closer our legs would get to the door post, quietly watching the eyes of our mother; and waiting for an approval. When she wiggled her legs, it was a negative signal. But when she praised the beautiful works of God in the rainy moment, it was a positive sign. Note, there was no going outside when it rained in the night. That was why Joseph composed the song: Rain visit us when the sun is not old Rain sing for us when the moon is not young So that mother will open the door for us to play with you So that papa will come home dry and happy. Rain visit us as we sing to you. Rain oh rain oh rain. That particular day, the rain was deaf to our singing, or calling and yelling. We became frustrated because the sun was kissing the lines of the sea, workers were returning home while livestock owners were gathering their...
8 comments
Read more

IF HAIRS COULD TALK

  “You know, I get nervous by the sight of unkempt hair” “And why’s that?” “Well, it makes me imagine the worst of the man or woman in question.” “But you can’t always have clean cut or well-made hair. It’s hard work and who has time for such beauty strife. Or why do you think Beyonce sang that beauty hurts?” “I’m not talking about beauty. Rather I mean responsibility. Bad hair must surely birth a bad day. Look, I hate seeing my wife without her hair done or at least covered. I blame it on Medusa. Should have never seen that movie, T he Clash of the Titans .” “Hahaha, that’s just cracking! Now you blame your sick theory on a movie? Buddy, your wife must be tolerating a whole lot of shit from you. Cut her some slack and leave her hair alone. If you continue shaving yours all the time, you’d be bald before you’re even 40, man.” I’ve been thinking. A thousand tongues there would be if our hairs could talk. Imagine, a million heads would have a zillion tongues and more! The...
16 comments
Read more